Сегодня среда, а это значит, что в эфире колонка редактора раздела Сплочение Саши Нелюба. Почему любовь к котикам — это постапокалиптически извращёное удовлетворение потребности в общности и слиянии с окружающими, а также — можно ли доверять своему коту, который, скорее всего, работает на спецслужбы.
Две недели назад психологами впервые был описан особый вид синдрома Капгра. В классическом случае «по учебнику» это психиатрическое заболевание проявляется тем, что больной верит в подмену его самого или кого-то из его близких двойником. Что за особый случай был выявлен американскими исследователями? Семидесятиоднолетний пациент с кучей травм и хроническим алкоголизмом в анамнезе уверял своего врача, что ему подменили кота. Кота. И этот двойник кота не просто фальшивка, он ещё и работает на ФБР.
Мне кажется, этот уникальный случай являет нам сразу несколько граней Постапокалипсиса. Возьмём хотя бы сам факт подмены. Задолго до того, как в мире появились психологи, психиатры, гештальт-терапевты и прочие врачеватели наших душ, люди уже страдали синдромом подмены. Он развивался, в частности, у молодых матерей после родов, когда они не могли смириться с тем, что их с таким трудом выношенный и рождённый на свет ребёнок слаб, болен и скоро умрёт. Такого несчастного малыша объявляли подменышем. Считалось, что хорошего, родного, здоровенького ребёнка унесла некая нечистая сила (название которой варьировалось в зависимости от местности и бытующих там поверий), а вместо него подложила своего детёныша. Злобного, кричащего, ненасытного. Убеждённость в подмене давала матери облегчение совести, когда больного ребёнка переставали кормить, дабы он скорее умер.
С развитием цивилизации и появлением (или открытием) всё новых форм ментальных расстройств «подмене» стали подвергаться не только младенцы, но и близкие и дальние родственники, а порой и сама личность больного. Источниками подмены становились всё та же нечистая сила, а ещё инопланетяне и вот теперь — спецслужбы. Вера в то, что вместо родного человека подсунут двойник, чаще всего ещё и опасный, — это негативное переживание, возникающее как ответная реакция на неспособность слиться с окружающими, ощутить общность, сплочённость.
Чем так примечателен случай с подменой кота? Во-первых, теперь место родного и дорогого — ребёнка, родственника, партнёра — занимает кот. Во-вторых, источником подмены выступают не абы кто, а спецслужбы, таинственные контролёры, имеющие право на вторжение в вашу жизнь. Повальная любовь к котам — это помимо всего прочего ещё и отражение тотального одиночества современного человека, его неспособности сплотиться с окружающими. И я сейчас не о пресловутых сорока котах сильной независимой женщины, но и о котах в количестве одна штука у сильных независимых мужчин, о котах, которых заводят пары и которых делят при разводах и «разводах», как детей. Мы выбираем котов, потому что коты не бросят (вряд ли смогут выбраться из квартиры), не сбегут, забрав зубную щётку (у них и щётки-то, как правило, нет), коты не изменяют (ну, почти), не требуют, чтобы ты зарабатывал больше, чтобы ходил в тренажёрку, чтобы одевался по-другому, чтобы позвонил маме… Коты — не люди. С котами не надо выстраивать хрупкие, ломкие, заставляющие страдать и подстраиваться отношения. Коты — единственные, кому можно доверять.
Можно ли?
В тот день, когда мировое сообщество узнало о первом задокументированном случае синдрома подмены кота, шеф-лобстер самиздата Егор Мостовщиков написал мне: «Приглядись к Марсику, он ведёт себя странно. Может, он работает на ФСБ?».
— Представляешь, — сказала я, повернувшись к Марсику, — Егор считает, что ты работаешь на ФСБ.
— Мяу, — сказал Марсик и перевернулся в корзинке на другой бочок.
Примерно через полчаса, проходя мимо туалета, я почувствовала резкий неприятный и совершенно несвойственный моей квартире запах. Он что-то смутно напоминал, но что? Я включила свет и вошла в туалет. Прямо рядом с кошачьим лотком была лужа. Лужа воняла. Впервые в жизни мой кот написал мимо лотка. Судя по расположению лужи, это было сделано демонстративно. Возможно, это даже была угроза. Я обернулась. У меня за спиной сидел Марсик и буравил меня взглядом.

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Тогда я стала вспоминать все случаи странного поведения моего кота. Однажды он сбежал. Выходя из дома, я забыла закрыть окно на балконе и неплотно закрыла балконную дверь. Это произошло около полуночи. Когда я вернулась домой следующим утром, кота в квартире не было. Я носилась вокруг дома и выкрикивала дурным голосом его кличку на все лады: «Марсик! Марс! Марсель! Марсиииииииик!». Он, радостный, грязный и вонючий, выбежал ко мне с помойки. Теперь я понимаю — у него было около двенадцати часов. За это время его могли завербовать — если ещё не, а скорее всего, это произошло задолго до побега. Двенадцать часов — достаточный срок для проведения конспиративной встречи, передачи информации, получения новых инструкций и заметания следов (история с пиршеством на помойке). Я вспомнила, что однажды мы опубликовали подробную инструкцию для котиков по убийству людей, и задумалась.
Когда меня нет дома больше суток, он открывает ящики комода и достаёт мои вещи. Раньше мне казалось, что ему нужен мой запах. Теперь я подозреваю, что он просто ищет тайники. Марс очень любит гостей. Во время кухонных посиделок он кочует с коленок на коленки и шарится под столом. Возможно, он занимается сбором информации. Ведь наверняка неспроста из всей революционно настроенной компании, периодически захаживающей ко мне в гости, Марсик больше всех любит Рому. Возможно, причина не в наличии у Ромы собственных котов, а в его активной гражданской позиции. Иногда я не могу вспомнить, кому я могла звонить по городскому телефону, когда получаю за него детализированные счета. Иногда сквозь сон я слышу, как пикает компьютер, который я выключала перед тем, как пойти спать.
В темноте и тишине кунцевской ночи я чувствую шаги по одеялу. Моего лица едва касаются кончики усов. Он вслушивается, он вглядывается, он пытается понять, насколько крепко я сплю. Я дышу очень, очень ровно.
Эту замечательную иллюстрацию на заходе для нас сделала Аника Турчан. Спасибо, Аника!
Если вы нашли ошибку, пожалуйста, выделите фрагмент текста и нажмите Ctrl+Enter.
Мой кот работает на ФСБ
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