Ваш личный Астропрогноз: 30 мая — 5 июня

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Слава России, согретые! Луна находится в последней фазе своего цикла, а это значит, что пришло время выбрасывать старый хлам, освобождать пространство для нового, а главное — не орать. Ваши перепады настроения никому не нравятся, поэтому либо угомонитесь, либо ограничьте свой круг общения. Записывайте идеи и планы, но не реализуйте их, оставьте это до прихода молодой Луны. Внимательно следуйте инструкциям, чтобы подготовиться к новому лунному циклу.

ПОНЕДЕЛЬНИК

Прекрасный день, чтобы завести на работе интрижку. Транзитный Меркурий в тригоне с Плутоном помогут вам наладить полезные связи, а также превратят вас в Джулию Ванг (версия для бедных). Идите на пробежку, приседайте, контролируйте свои мышцы. Не стригите волосы — заболеете. Берегите область подмышек. Закладывайте фундамент, сейте, читайте про историю России, откажитесь от грубых шуток. Всё сегодня удастся в том случае, если вы не аморальный. Не стоит курить и пить.

ВТОРНИК

Вероятно, что сегодня вы проснётесь разбитым даже если накануне вели себя так, как было написано в инструкции. Поэтому если инструкцию вы читаете заранее, сами решите, пить ли в понедельник, чтобы страдать во вторник от похмелья, или не пить, но страдать так, будто вы вчера пили. Сны снятся вещие, но могут и не сбыться. Садитесь напротив зеркала в выгодную позу, начинайте себя любить. С четырёх часов после полудня до семи вечера транзитная Луна находится в секстиле с Венерой: участвуйте в светской жизни, купите квартиру, шубу или другую дорогую бессмысленную фигню.

СРЕДА

Транзитное Солнце в квадратуре с Нептуном — это рассеянность, злоупотребление алкоголем и развлечениями, самообман, избегание ответственности, убытки и недоразумения. Фаргас попробует избавить вас от лишних хлопот и неприятностей, но важно не засесть в трясине. Вы лягушка, выпрыгивайте из жижи, не будьте похожи на участника «Дома-2». Будьте осторожны, следите за собой и за зубами.

ЧЕТВЕРГ

Постарайтесь быть чуть адекватнее, чем Тудыв в трансе. Садитесь на 27 трамвай, поезжайте к озеру в Тимирязевском лесопарке, трогайте ногой воду, не смотритесь в зеркало. Родить сегодня можно романтичного пьяницу, а зачать доброго карателя. Нельзя делать рентген и есть марку. Можно стричься. Транзитная Венера в квадратуре с Нептуном тащат к вам интриги, обманы, клевету и мошенничество. Нельзя сидеть в редакции или офисе и переживать о своей личной жизни, это скажется на работе.

ПЯТНИЦА

Планеты выстроились так, что проще выкопать землянку в Битцевском лесопарке и отсидеться там. Транзитное Солнце в оппозиции с Сатурном — конфликтность, неудачи. Избегайте раболепия перед начальством, а также обходите Бастрыкина стороной. Примите этот день, как один из тех, когда лучше бы сходил и выпилился, но нет. Транзитное Солнце в квадратуре с Юпитером — это неприятности и потери, не предпринимайте ничего важного, воздержитесь от обещаний, погрузитесь в свою апатию, найдите в этом аду угол, садитесь, постарайтесь не спечься. Транзитная Венера в оппозиции с Сатурном — депрессия, холод, недостаток внимания. Вы — подросток из фильмов Гай Германики, вам хреново. Терпите. Рисуйте волнистые линии, не смотрите на сварку.

СУББОТА

Вчерашний вальс планет, которые решили вас уничтожить, продолжается. Спасайтесь чтением книг. Сатана-спрут расправил щупальца и хочет сделать из вас мстительную дуру. Не теряйте лица, терпите чужие недостатки, не гуляйте по Солнцево и Братеево ночью. Будьте осторожны, если вы пешеход, ещё осторожнее, если водитель. Не дарите цветов, не ловите рыбы, терпите.

ВОСКРЕСЕНЬЕ

Завтра уже попустит, а пока продолжайте терпеть. Оденьтесь в каштановое, оберегайте гипофиз. Не доверяйте никому, смотрите на что-нибудь красивое. Не будьте агрессивным, не кидайте камнями в котов, не бейте бомжа, не ругайтесь на нерасторопного таксиста. Сходите в гости к геологу, попросите потрогать камень. Если на вас лает собака, это предупреждение, что вы где-то накосячили в этом лунном цикле. Подумайте, где, исправьтесь, отдыхайте, дальше вас ждёт что-то ещё.

5.explore

Эту великолепную иллюстрацию нам нарисовала Ирина Озерская. Ирина, спасибо вам большое!

Если вы нашли ошибку, пожалуйста, выделите фрагмент текста и нажмите Ctrl+Enter.

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